Hello my dear friends
Really wanted to blog the other night but lovely husband was using the ONE laptop in the house (no tablets in our home, we're the new amish..) so I couldn't and fucked if I'm going to do it on my phone.
Anyway, I had a lovely yesterday. I had vouchers for a massage and for Waterstones (fancyish book shop) and my friend took the kids for the afternoon. So I headed into town - on my own. With no children!!.
I went for my massage first and the lady was asking me about injuries etc. So I told her in the last year I've:
1. Broken my leg.
2. Fallen out of an attic
3. Had a traffic barrier come down on my head (don't ask).
I've also - lost 12 lbs in weight and given up drinking.
Well, I hadn't really thought about it all like that. What a year. All that stuff to deal with! I'm so proud of myself for making the decision to become sober and free.
I've also started reading The Sober revolution by Lucy Rocca from Soberistas and Sarah Turner. I'm finding it alot easier to connect to than the Jason Vale book (which I still haven't finished). I'm reading it going - tick, I was like that, tick, that too, tick, yep, me.
I guess I've realised too that I'm still in that no-man's-land place of waiting. Waiting to see what journey this massive decision in my life will lead me on and where it will end up!
I've been feeling both so positive and also scared about my new found self. Weirdly, one of the things I'm worried about the most is my relationship with lovely husband. I think I probably leaned on him alot when I was drinking (not the actual being drunk drinking but all the detritus that comes with just drinking). I'm afraid I'll turn into this kick ass kung foo broad that'll want to just do my own thing all the time. I told him all this yesterday and you know what he said? 'Please don't be scared of where this will lead you, just embrace it and enjoy it, it's amazing what you're doing and we'll deal with whatever comes up' I mean for fucks sake!! What is my problem! What a catch, right?
Anyone else have anything like these sorts of fears that they can share with me? Please? Anything at all? Anyone? Bueller?
Ok my beauties.
Peace out. xxx Mtts. x
Lol
ReplyDeleteI was really worried. Especially because both my husband and I got sober. For some reason I thought he was going to turn into a AA cult member. And I expected I would just sit around being sad and boring.
Lol.
I was wrong. Learning to like myself again has improved my family lie so much. And my husband is still himself, just less loud and obnoxious.
It's a win win.
I promise you will find the same.
I hope so. I'm finding them all irritating at the moment. (that's me not them) Want to hide under a rock on my own for the next ten years!
DeleteHi Mtts,
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a lovely day. What a lot you've been through the last year!! Getting sober would have to be the best wouldn't it?
I absolutely loved that book! (I couldn't really get into Jason Vale's book either although I did finish it) I should read it again as I was drinking on and off when I read it last.
As for fears, I have lots of them. I'd be hear all day if I had to write them all out! I too worry about my relationship with hubby. I've been drinking ever since we met and it was a big part of our courtship (such an old-fashioned word!!) He would come over and we'd either watch a video (how old are we?!) and share a bottle or two of wine or we'd go out to dinner and have wine. When we married and finally lived together I was in the habit of drinking wine with him and that's when my daily drinking took off and really became a problem. So i fear how things will be now that I'm not drinking. But I'm trying not to worry about it and just enjoy being sober.
Have a great weekend!
A x
Thanks Angie! I'm enjoying the soberness too, though this weekend was tough.
DeleteThe weird thing about Jason vale is that some of the stuff he says you just don't believe until you've been sober for a while, and then it suddenly makes sense. Like his argument that alcohol creates the stress/anxiety rather than solving it. I've only recently understood that.
ReplyDeleteI worried about husband too ( see my 2 posts on 'not the girl he married), but he genuinely seems happier now than back then. He's drinking a lot less and I'm less stroppy and more awake! X
Oh yeah, I got terrible anxiety after drinking so I'm well aware that that's an effect. I must read that book again now I'm sober a bit longer.
DeleteWow. You've gone through a lot of hurt. I hope you are staying careful this time. I'm sure you are, but massage does bring out a lot of the pain that we have gone through before, just so we can air it out until we are rid of it. You work through it, as your hands work through your muscle and your spine, so that's normal.
ReplyDeleteShanell Custer @ Sage Health and Wellness
I liked your positive message surrounding personal growth. I have struggled with sobriety in the past and have found taking it one day at a time to be the only way to find success. Aside from all this, I have recommitted myself to education. I am still trying to find the right fit, but found EastWestCollege.Com to be particularly interesting.
ReplyDeleteBrooke Burgess @ East West College
I definitely think taking care of yourself with activities like massage is crucial. You’ve given up something that gave you comfort, whether that comfort was right or wrong. It will feel like a part is missing for a time. You are lucky your husband is so supportive. I agree with him to just see where the journey takes you!
ReplyDeleteWilliam Connors @ The Healing Station
Thanks William, journey continues and gets more and more interesting!
ReplyDelete