Hello lovelies
So today I was on the phone to my folks in Italy (on holiday there for a month, the lucky ducks). My dad was describing where he was 'sitting in the sun with a chilled glass of white wine, looking over the sea' and I thought to myself 'It's only a drink'. As in, well it's just a glass of wine, all those other things he's talking about are fully open and available to me, it's only the wine bit I can't have.
I'm not sure why that struck a chord with me but I felt it was worth documenting. Maybe it's a little in road in the thoughts of 'How am I going to go without ever having a drink again?'
I also told a friend that I was giving up. She said that the last time she met me I hadn't seemed myself at all and that I'd lost my spark. She was delighted that I'm AF. It was a really good reminder on how I was feeling back then (a whole month ago!) and she's right. I felt old and tired and sick. Today was a good day and I played with the kids and I felt good about myself.
I hope this makes sense to someone out there! I'm not sure it even makes much sense to me!
Anyway people, thanks for reading.
xxxxMtts.
You are doing so well! It's funny how we think a glass of wine will complete a scene and I have to admit I still find the thought of having a glass of wine by the beach on a warm summer evening very tempting. But I am going to have to retrain my brain into believing that it's just not necessary! That the occasion will be just as special with a glass of soft drink or something else. How we romanticise wine sometimes!! You make perfect sense btw! A x
ReplyDeleteomg - chilled glass of white in the summer, big glass of red in front of the fire in winter. Pints of local ale when we visit the UK, sherry in the morning at Christmas, wine on a Friday night, wine on a Saturday night, glass of wine in pub after a long family walk....blah blah blah. Totally romanticised and utterly dependant..wonder when the boredom of not drinking will kick in?!
DeleteWe don't lose a spark if we don't drink. We lose our spark if we are drunk and miserable.
ReplyDeleteFor reals tatb..for reals.
DeleteIt completely makes sense.
ReplyDeletePeople often comment on how bright and happy I am now.
They are right.
As time goes by the need for the glass of wine in top hose romanticized situations diminishes. Being able to be in the moment as it happens holds more allure.
Let's hope so! I have a holiday in July and lovely husband's 40th in August so nervous about that!
DeleteMe too family holiday to France in July. Usually lots of wine. Am scared of how I'll cope :-(
ReplyDeleteHave you a blog by the way?
DeleteI haven't got a blog. I didn't know i could have one but I might look into it. I read an article in the daily mail online (as I was browsing the gossip columns ) about a month ago about 40 ish year old women drinkers and followed the link to soberistas. This has opened up a whole new world of possibilities to me as I was stuck in the rut of too much alcohol (wine) and self loathing. Finding all your blogs has really been life changing and so far giving me enough strength to go AF. I try to not think about forever and think just for today or for this week I won't drink. Apart from a lot of sadness at times and headaches it's been ok. Reading sober mummy's blog has encouraged me to think of being part of the sober revolution and seeing it as a positive thing. It's working so far but am well aware of many tests ahead.
DeleteAs long as we have wifi wherever we go we can stay in touch with our online buddies. I was offline for 3 days last weekend and I missed it and you guys. x
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be offline this summer for 3 weeks. Am already starting to panic! You're doing great mtts
ReplyDeleteThe what now SM? Ah here, you're not serious? What will we do? Who will we read? Is there no wifi at all where you'll be? Bring plenty of your AF books and a journal. You can fill us in when you return!
ReplyDelete