Wah, I've been away a whole week my lovely people. It's so nice to be back. I miss you all when I haven't blogged in awhile. But I'm always checking in on your blogs, even when I don't write myself.
So...Families..like what's that all about? And families with alcohol added in...like, what even?
I was up with my folks over the weekend to celebrate my nieces 1st birthday. The party started at 1.30pm and ended at 1.30am with my mum going to bed crying and my sister's friend off her face on wine. Woo!! I never, ever, ever have been so glad I'm not drinking anymore. In the end I had to drop said friend home as there was no taxis available. (A first for me) I also broke up a big row between her and my sister. Can I just remind you this was a child's first birthday party?
Drinking man, it's no good. The shit people think it's ok to come out with when they're drunk is incredible. It lowers your 'this is not the place or time to have this serious conversation with this person' barrier so that any old grouse or grumble you have inside comes pouring forth. And it's usually the worst place or time to bring your 'issues' up.
Next time I'm going to bed. For reals.
I did have a few white knuckle moments earlier on in the day when everyone was sitting outside in the sun drinking cold white wine. I caved and drove (yes, I was at a party and I was able to drive!) down to get my fav elderflower and grape fizz from Tesco. I could actually feel the tension in my body. Then when one of the lads asked why I wasn't drinking and I told them I'd given up, well everyone was full of interest! Mostly it was one girl (see earlier) who was agreeing with what I was saying and said it made her feel uncomfortable about how much was familiar to her...
Oh!! And, I had a chat with my sister who said she too, along with my brother, was getting worried about my drinking. My sister! Who I had in the same 'just as big a drinker as me' group. She said lately she'd noticed my drinking escalating. It was hard to hear but also great as it just confirms my decision and brings home the reality of the problem. She did also say 'You're nicer too since you've stopped drinking'!!! I didn't ask my mum and dad what they thought, don't know if I could've handled more than one persons opinion on it at that time!
So, that was a major milestone for me, being in my parents, at a party and not drinking. It was tough but after the party and all the rows and the awkward shit the next day I was so glad I'd made my decision.
Oh a plus point, we had a big festival in the park beside us so every night we'd hang out the back garden, listening. Highlights include the beautiful and amazing Hozier and the soundtrack to my misspent youth The Chemical Brothers! What would the girl back then think of herself now I wonder?!
Thank you all for being there for me, I loves ya all.
xxxMtts. xx
Hi Mtts,
ReplyDeleteWell done for getting through the visit with your family. Yes, family's huh?!! And throw alcohol into the mix and it can be very interesting indeed! Funny how kids birthday parties aren't really about the kids at all! What a pity alcohol is even included. You are doing so well! A x
Thanks Angie. I#m going to make sure my own kid's parties are AF from now on!
DeleteCongrats! being on the other side of the world from my family, they haven't ever seen me in my adult life as a non-drinker. Interestingly, a conversation with my Dad from years ago keeps playing in my head "You and alcohol" he said "Do not mix well". I can't even remember the context.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great xx
Yeah, it's funny the snippets of conversation that stick out. I suppose the bits we remember are the bits that hit a note with us!
DeleteWell done, glad you got through the week ok and that it validated your decision. So true what Angie said about alcohol and kids' birthday parties, I'm ashamed to think how my daughter's parties when she was very young were really more about the adults getting together (and boozing) than her. Xx
ReplyDeleteWell it wasn't just you! There was all the other adults who drank too!
DeleteWelcome back and well done you! You're amazing! Strangely, I posted a few days ago on the Chemical Brothers (see running and insomnia) - my misspent youth too! Love SM x
ReplyDeleteThanks SM. x
Deleteu did really well to get thru all that, well done!! mad behaviour at a kids first birthday. must get the elderflower and grape fizz from Tesco : )
ReplyDeleteIt's yum. Stockpiled some drinks from Marks for my hols today too!
DeleteI think it's great that you see the comments people make as true concern for you. Because I am sure that is exactly what they are. Relief.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's great to be open. Perhaps some of your words will sink into the friends mind. You may have helped her more than you can know.
I try to avoid any situation where people get drunk. Even family. They do become completely boundary less. And it is just sad.
I continue to marvel at how society needed up like this? When did it become the norm for people to get drunk and disorderly? It is just so commonplace.
I know I never even questioned it until I got sober. But I do now.
The thing is that my family drink alot. I mean they don't drink alot neccessarily in volume but my mum drinks 2 glasses every night (she's ok with that and she doesn't have a problem) but they do drink very frequently so if I avoided situations with drink I'd never see them! But it has made me think to avoid the ones that go on late, or at least, to go to bed after a certain time!
DeleteWell done on surviving it! It's interesting to be able to see how people act when they are drunk - and to reflect on whether you were ever like that. I've found that quite sobering, which is probably a good word to use but a terrible unintended pun!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anne isn't it strange that the 'norm' is drunken craziness?
Anne is so right, since when did we need to drink all day at a 1 year olds party?? That's nutso!
DeleteGreat to see you back! So funny that kids' - even babies' - parties are total piss ups nowadays. What's that all about? ?? Well done you on staying sober. I've got a big family do coming up in August so will be following your example!
ReplyDeleteDo! It's actually easier than I thought. There was a few moments where I felt really uncomfortable but it passed and I was so glad then that I didn't!
DeleteOh, I commend you for staying sober.
ReplyDeleteFamilies can be hard enough without the added fuel of drinking.
xo
Wendy
Families are mental. Who thought them up???
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