Hello people
As I've said before thank god for you and for being able to express this journey with people who understand.
Yes, this has been a tough week and yes I've struggled. However, of course it's going to be hard. It's all about going through all those firsts that you would never have considered doing before without alcohol. The only thing I have not to do is drink. I can do anything else. I know that sounds simplistic but that's the black and the white of it. Just. don't. drink.
In our society we are surrounded by alcohol and when you're sober you see that even more. Recipes for cocktails in magazine, people opening bottles to celebrate anything, habitual drinking because that's just what we do, ads on billboards, whole aisles dedicated to alcohol in shops...It's just all there. As as non-drinkers we have to get used to that. But I like to think that we are the antithesis of all that. Maybe by standing up and saying 'nope, that's not for me thanks' we might make others think. Not in a preachy way - good for you if you can drink safely. But just think in a societal way about how we drink. Does it have to be this all consuming thing that is the norm? Should our kids want to stand outside off licences asking adults to buy them cans? What is it about alcohol that it is so revered in our society? What does it do for us and what do we need it to do?
Who knows. But it sure is interesting. At the party on Saturday, I recognised myself in one of the guys there. Just as he was leaving to go into town to a pub I saw him knocking back the whole bottle of beer he was drinking. It kind of knocked me for six - I know that! I know that feeling! Must get it down me as I'll have to wait another half an hour before my next drink. That little thing that no-one else probably even noticed, I recognised, and somepart of me screamed 'That was you, you were exactly like that' I was like oxygen to me when I was drinking, get us much in as possible. And I know towards the end it was getting worse, I was getting over my one bottle of wine norm way quicker and I just wanted more and more and more.
So...all food for thought my darlings.
Hope you're all ok and getting there. Just. don't. drink.!
xxMtts
You know I think I can point out when alcohol became so common place, it was in the 80's when wine really came into the picture. Before that, families sat down to dinner with a big pitcher of ice tea in the middle of the table, at least they did in my part of the world. Then came wine and that became the sophisticated thing to do. Beautiful stemware with jewel hued liquid in it was so much more posh, Mom with a wine glass dangling from her fingertips as she stirred the gravy so much more glamorous. There is a family TV series that I love, but in every dinner scene, the mother has her oversized wine goblet and the father has a bottle of beer at their elbows. You never saw that on the Brady Bunch.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if we can turn the tide, I wish we could, but, maybe all we can do is serve as a testimony that there is undeniable and unwavering sophistication and respect that comes with not drinking.
Dear MTTS,
ReplyDeleteI was like the guy at the party, too!
I would pre-load for a party, always worried when I would get the next drink.
I wrote a little about this myself, that is alcohol is everywhere.
xo
Wendy
Argh! It's crazy isn't it. So much better now to be sober and free of all that.
DeleteOh yes the obsession with making sure we had enough. I am so glad that's not me any more. I still have moments where I wish oh I wish I could still drink. The reality is I could. I could buy wine and drink it. But I know, without a shadow of a doubt, it would lead back to where I left off and it would do so very quickly. So it's a choice and, despite the occasional cravings or moments of sadness and of course the exhaustion, it's bloody brilliant and it's the best thing I've done and it's so liberating! Thanks as always x
ReplyDeleteSo true EH, and I could probably even half convince those around me it would be ok if I did drink. But you're right, it's a choice. I keep saying 'oh lucky you, you can drink' but really so can I, I'm just choosing not to. Just sometimes it's harder than others!
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