Hello all you lovely, gorgeous people,
So, the visitors have gone home, the house has been cleaned, I can watch crappy tv again but best of all there's no wine in the house and no-one is drinking. Woo!
Hmm, writing that feels very strange. Like a different person! Why would I, of all people, not want wine in the house? Ah yes, that would be because I don't drink alcohol. I'm sober, a tee totaller, a pioneer...That is SO weird. I'm 120 days sober today, which is 4 months. Which sounds so little but also the longest ever I've been without alcohol. So yay me.
I hadn't realised how precious my private space has become since I've given up booze. It's my very own prohibition bar, complete with lots of tea and some (ahem) biscuits. No beer (unless you count the frankly undrinkable batch of home brew in the attic), no wine, no spirits. Nothing. It's a real relief, it was very challenging being faced with bottles of vino tinto and bianco every night. Also I've now become a rather uncertain hostess - how much wine do other people drink? How often should I offer around wine? Should I take people at face value when they say no thanks or do I do a Mrs Doyle on it? Sometimes I feel like I'm living through other people when I'm pouring their wine.
One really positive thing I've noticed is that I've become way more patient with the kids. On Saturday night last I ate my dinner with a child on each knee after huge meltdowns due to a very late dinner. Before, I would have lost it that the dinner was so late and deffo been at least a half a bottle of wine down at the eating stage. There's no way I would have wanted two kids on top of me. Lately I seem to have more time to allow them to be themselves, even if they're annoying me. I don't lose the head as much, I have more inner patience and I'm really enjoying that.
So my darlings, I hope you're all doing what you can and trying to be kind to yourselves. I know that is really hard for most of us.
xxxMtts.
Yes. When we find that kindness for ourselves it spills out onto everyone else.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anne, so true. x
DeleteYou're coming into yourself and you will continue to amaze yourself with new discoveries. I know one of my biggest improvements was to be able to think through what I say before I say it. Most the time I realize it's not necessary to say anything, especially if it's negative.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on four months and children on you knees, and tea and (ahem) biscuits, scads of them.
Kary
That's funny! Lately I've been thinking about that. I'm usually a bit of hothead but I think I'm learning to just let things calm down a bit and then think about how to handle a situation....interesting...
DeleteDear MTTS,
ReplyDeleteYay! I am so happy for your 4 months!
And that you are seeing the good things that can happen sober!
xo
wendy
Thanks teacher! Yes, sober is much better than drunk!
DeleteCongrats on 4 months. That is awesome! You are doing so well. A x
ReplyDeleteThanks Angie, you're not doing too bad yourself!
DeleteWell done you!!! :-) Am looking forward to catching up with you! Although I'm finding being AF mostly ok now, I'm just cracking on keeping my head down and apparently at 6 months we turn a big corner so i am looking forward to that! But I totally agree about being a calmer, more in the moment mum. It feels great doesn't it! One of the things that sets me off is when the kids spill juice or milk - usually every day and usually full cups - but I've discovered that it's not really that big a deal. Who'd have thought!!! Onwards and upwards xxx
ReplyDeleteKids man, they can just push all the buttons at the same time. Spilling full glasses, don't even go there girlfriend..
DeleteCongratulations on 4 months. I'm on Day 35. So far so good. Loads more patience with my kids, better sleep and clear skin - yay! Wish I'd done this sooner. X
ReplyDeleteWell done you! I've noticed better skin too but that's the least of the pluses. You're doing it now and that's what count. Don't look back...
DeleteHey, well done on surviving the inlaws. That was a tough one with everyone clearly in holiday mode and you still in an adjustment period. I totally hear ya about living thru other people, i often find myself buying my husband craft beers and making sure others have all the drinks they want etc. I can't help it beacuse I imagine how nice it would be if I was still drinking and people did that for me. I am defo more patient with kids too, everything is better, skin better, more energy, feel great, lighter and happy in a more even way. Still though....can't pinpoint it, Maybe its boredom or just the lack of something to look forward to. Trying to reconcile with myself and then make a decision how to move forward once i hit 100 days which I'm not too far off. Anyways well done! X
ReplyDeleteWell done Kats,you're nearly there! It's funny isn't it? Living through others drinking and not knowing how to serve people now. Maybe other people don't mind sitting with an empty glass as much as I did...
DeleteTry and figure out what that itchy feeling is, for some reason I think that's important for you. xxx