It's my time to shine!

Day 1 to day 6

So last Tuesday evening I went out for dinner with my kids (lovely husband was away) and drank two big glasses of wine. Then when I came home and after I'd put said kids to bed I proceeded to drink a bottle of wine. And I stayed up till 3am. This is not uncommon.

I have a drinking problem.

I have known this for a long, long, long time. 

On Wednesday I spent all day online reading soberity blogs. How did I not know these exsisted?!
I've spent years and years sifting through websites on alcohol - 'Am I an alcoholic? - 10 questions to find out' 'Do I drink too much - complete this survery'.
I thought I'd read everything ever about alcohol misuse.

Turns out I was wrong. Also turns out that these blogs by other women, same age as me, mothers like me, convinced me that I needed to do something. I've tried wine/ no wine. Drinking beer instead of wine. Only buying one bottle of wine and sharing it. Measuring out how much wine I was going to drink in one night. Wine, wine, wine, wine, wine.

My friends wouldn't think I have a major problem. I'm fun and I seem to be in control of my life.

However they don't see the planning and the scheming that is necessary to make sure that I always have enough wine.

I don't drink every night, in fact I have been known to go on the dry for up to a month. It's all rosy until I take that very first sip. Then fugedaboutit. I'm off down the offy for another bottle.  For the life of me I cannot moderate. There was no other way my drinking was going but down. I'd noticed in the last year that things had gotten more intense, more serious, more focused. I'd even gone past the point where I wasn't even pretending that I was going to try to cut back, once I started to drink I knew I was getting pissed and that was that. Fact of life.

So I've decided I need to stop. And I've decided I need to blog about it, as a means to get things in my head straight and to hold myself accountable to myself.

I'm following (among others) the following blogs, which are fab by fab ladies -
Mummy was a secret drinker
Mrs D is going without
Unpickled
Belle - Tired of drinking

I've also been to 2 AA meetings and am attending my 3 tonight. Not sure how that's going to work out but sure support is support so I'll keep going for now...

I'm hoping to blog everyday so if you're interested in my journey please do join in!

x Irish mammy

I'm moving on up now, getting out of the darkness
My light shines on, my light shines on, my light shines on.