Day 16
Woo hoo! It's ANGRY MMTS here. Very ANGRY, and then happy, and then freaked out, back to ANGRY again, then delighted, then overwhelmed but inevitably back to ANGRY. With everyone. My poor kids and lovely husband. (who I had a roaring argument with today and then hung up on him).
I don't know why I'm so tired and angry. It's not like I drank everyday, it's not like I drank during the day or first thing in the morning. I did however drink about 3/4 evenings a week, at least a bottle of wine. So I don't know maybe anger is some sort of processing emotion. I'd love some feedback on this!
I'm also reading the Jason Vale book - Kick drinking easily. I read the Amazon reviews and on some other sober blogs recommendations I thought I'd like it. And don't get me wrong, there is some really valuable stuff in there but I have major problems with some of this ideas:
- Comparing alcohol to heroin. Like just no. It's not the same. It just isn't. You can't socialise after a hit of gear, or look after your kids, or have the bants with mates. Everyone who drinks alcohol doesn't get addicted (Vale does not agree) but most people who use heroin do.
- He says that everyone who uses alcohol is addicted. Everyone. Even those who have a glass with their dinner or a glass once a week. He uses the following test to prove this - Ask anyone who drinks this question 'You win 100,000k, it's all yours as long as you accept this small proviso - you can't drink alcohol again for the rest of your life' He claims that most of the people he asked either said 'no way, let's get the beers in ' or 'sure, I'd go without for that amount'. Then he 'claims' that the go withouts actually came back to him later saying they were lying and no way would they do this.
I was thinking about his test today and I thought, if someone offered me 100,000k to never, ever eat bread again, or eat chocolate or crisps or butter well, hell, I'd have a hard time agreeing to that either.
Anyway, just because you'd have a hard time saying no to alcohol for the rest of your life doesn't make you an addict. I have loads of friends who have just one glass of wine and that's it. Lots of people in wine making countries drink wine responsibly. Liking having a drink and being an addict are two different things.
I'll keep reading it to the end but am finding those points tough to over look.
It was my birthday yesterday and I spent it sober (yay! - first sober birthday in years) but angry (boo).
Ok that's enough from me people. Please do keep reading and I'd love to hear from you.
Keep on truckin'
Mtts
Hi mmts thought I'd comment as not too far behind you ...Day 7. Been reading your blog and totally relate to the anger thing you've talked about here indeed I wrote about being an dry yesterday as have also started a blog you can find it at exploringsomethingelse@wordpress.com.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great keep blogging so nice to be able to relate to others xx
*meant angry!!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you about Jason's book. A lot of his theories annoyed me too. And it didn't work either by the way, and I finished the book! No such thing as an alcoholic? I don't think so! I've far better books that make much better sense. Regarding the anger, I have days like this. I do get angry sometimes that I can't drink anymore, but this anger isn't about that. It's just anger at anything and everything and nothing!! I can start out ok but a couple of hours later I will be in the shittiest of moods. I guess it's just our emotions playing havok with us. Hopefully it will get better. Happy birthday for yesterday and congrats on day 16! A x
ReplyDeleteI actually agree with him. I actually liked Allen Carr better, but I think they are saying the same thing. People risk a lot to have a drink. For what?
ReplyDeleteYour friend who have an occasional glass of wine would probably have NO problems never drinking again.
As for bread - I got diagnosed with celiac disease in 2013. It was much easier to give up gluten than it was alcohol.
Plus, I never ate bread compulsively, or his how much bread I was eating from others, or hoarded bread.
I think anger is part of the addiction process. It is your ego (or wolfie, or your inner addict, whatever) trying to justify drinking again. To keep you isolated, alone and unhappy.
Anyway- time is the best way to gain clarity on this. It took me a long time to actually be able to look back and see that although I was a high functioning drinker, I was actually living a pretty crappy life. I'm glad I found the freedom of sobriety.
Anne
Interesting test... Made me think... I would take the money and I would lie that of course I would be able to go without alcohol for the rest of my life. I am a good liar when it comes to alcohol. I lie to myself all the time: it is just one drink when I know it will be a bottle. I lied to myself before when I said I can moderate, knowing well that I cannot. I am liar... There... I said it.
ReplyDelete