So Fridays. They can be hard. Although I am looking forward to my sparkling water treat for tonight I can't help but feel that's a bit, well, sad really. Woo! It's Friday! Break open the fizzy water!! I'm so afraid I'm turning into a dry drunk. That somewhere along the way I've lost the buzz of being sober and now it's just something to be endured.
All that said, I'm not drinking. And I'm glad I'm not drinking. God, it's just complicated, how you can feel when you're sober. You can feel both negative and positive at the exact same time.
I just wish I still felt that 'Yeah!! I'm sober, I'm Kaleesa (I don't know who that is but see sobermummy's post on it), I'm part of a revolution, sisters are doing it for themselves etc etc' I want my sober mojo back!
It's a lovely relaxed Friday here, really sunny and a nice feeling of bonhomoie is prevailing. Just the time to open a nice bottle of white. But even just saying that reminds me of the feeling I got nearly immediately after that first drink. Kids would start annoying me, nothing else would get done for the day, no chance of a walk outside or a bike ride. Just drink. And it would keep going and I'd keep drinking and then eating crap and finally sinking into a black hole...Mmm. Maybe the fizzy water is starting to sound like the better option after all!
Have a good one my darlings.
xxxxMtts. xx
Mtts, you HAVE to watch Game of Thrones, then you'll get Khaleesi! I get you. Sometimes it feels joyless. But then life drinking was joyless sometimes too - and much more often! Big hugs xxxx
ReplyDeleteI'm trying not to get sucked into the whole GOT thing. I know I'll have too much catching up to do! Penny Dreadful is hard enough and that's only 2 seasons...(I think). Anyway, you are SO right. It was so joyless and sometimes it's hard to remember that. I'll have to read my list I wrote just before I stopped to remind me.
ReplyDeleteWow, party girls of the world UNITE! Isn't it interesting that all of us have this idea that the WEEKEND IS FOR PARTYING WHOOHOOOO!! hahaha! Drinky treat!
ReplyDeleteSM totally nailed it with the joyless thing, really, all we have is this ideal about The First Glass, oh it's so shiny and sparkly and delightful! But for us it is the first of many (4-5 for me!) so that kind of kills it for me, turns the image dark and murky:)
so, so true betty. when i look past that first glass, or even how I'm feeling by the end of the first glass, it does take the shine off somewhat..
DeleteHugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI so agree that being sober I feel positive and negative.
I used to love the weekends especially Friday nights where I could drink big time!
But then as I increased my drinking, it got so NOT FUN!
I am turning into a day person, and that's ok!
I got up and went to a yoga class outside and it was delightful!
xo
Wendy
PS - Game of Thrones!!!!
the day rocks and the night is the time for bed!
DeleteLast weekend in vegas showed me that even things I only ought would be fun drinking - gambling, loud music, tattoos, vegas, are better sober than they ever were drinking.
ReplyDeleteLife is just too good.
you're one hoochee mamma!
DeleteAm with you on that one. Am not drinking and not really wanting to but.......
ReplyDeleteweird, isn't it!
Delete