Hello people
I'm so bad at writing these days! I just either have no time or feel like I've nothing to say. But of course today I had to say hey! Six months today. It seems like such a short amount of time - six months in my whole life, that's nothing! But also ages and ages. It's the longest I've ever gone since I started drinking. A small miracle. I never, ever thought I'd be able to do that long.
Thing is lately, I've been pretty much craving wine. I think it's to do with the time of the year. Getting dark earlier, christmas lights up in the shops (I know..), that time where people get dressed up and go out more.
I don't really see the point in getting dressed up to go out. Mostly because I don't really see the point in going out. (not that I went out much when I was drinking, mostly dinner out with the kids and then drinks at home) I know some of you will say to go out anyway, but to be honest, I'm not ready and I can't be arsed. Most of my socialising is done in the day now or in the evening calling to friends for tea. I'm mostly happy with that but I do feel a bit sad when I think about it. I was in a friend's house last night acting as chief stylist for wedding outfits, it made me nostalgic for that time of getting ready, listening to music and having a glass of wine. I mean I know that is all a rosemantic version of how it was and that's what's keeping me on track. But still, I'm an outgoing person and I did used to love the fuss around a night out!
I don't feel much like congratulating myself today for some reason. I suppose it's become my new normal. The novelty of not drinking has worn off. I'm sort of afraid that it's now that is the time I might slip. Over Christmas it might just be a case of 'oh just the one' and then I know that I'd be back to square one in no time. I have no interest in fooling myself that I can stop at two or three glasses. I couldn't even be arsed in trying. It's either all or nothing with me!
So guys, that's where I'm at. A bit meh but still not drinking. Still sober. Still trying!
Hope you are all ok and doing whatever you need to do.
lots of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMtts.
Dear MMTS,
ReplyDeleteHappy 6 months! That is a wonderful accomplishment!
I think the longer you are sober, you will begin to feel comfortable going out.
At least I find that to be true.
I am so glad you can see how it's not "just one". At least it's not for me!
xo
Wendy
Went out last night to a Diwali celebration and really enjoyed myself. Even got up on stage to join in a bollywood dance!!!
DeleteI feel like this is the time (I'm at 5 months) that we start to feel normal and that's why I keep blogging even though I don't feel like drinking. Because if we get complacent about it we start to feel "normal" like we're somehow cured, and then we might start un-remembering how we got here and then be back at square uno. It's just something that's a part of me-- like allergies, or lactose intolerance. Life still goes on even if I can't really drink a milkshake (without severe consequences!!)
ReplyDeleteThanks betty, you've compelled me to try and blog more. I think it's a good idea. x
DeleteAm 6 months on the 11th. Cannot believe it. I'm right there with you and the 'meh'. Have been toying with Christmas drinking. Been thinking about the Christmas Market here in Edinburgh and mulled wine and champers and sherry and all things christmassy! But am not going to do it. Am going to continue 'faking it till I make it'!!! I want to be awake on Christmas eve and day watching crap movies with the kids. Going to be awake at midnight on hogmanay toasting marshmallows on chiminea with my older 2. Am focusing on losing more weight and being fabulous at 50 (or maybe 47 next bday). A few years off but am looking forward. If I still want to drink in the future am going to do it but only when I'm at least 80 and know better. Come on you can do this!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 6 months!! That is such a milestone!!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how to get the 'meh' feeling out of the way.... that's where I'm at too....
I, too, think ...how will I stay sober over Christmas? .... but then think, I want to wake up without a hangover and enjoy the moment when my children open their gifts.... moments that are way too precious to waste, these days.
Hugs!!
Those moments, they are too precious. You're right!
Delete6 months is great. I think the interest in doing more will return, although I'm not a huge evening goer outer. I have been to concerts, a gala, movies and parties sober and I can honestly say my motivation to do so gets bigger every day.
ReplyDeleteA sober Christmas is a gift. It's worth it.
Thanks Anne. x
DeleteCongrats on 6 months. It is a small miracle! Holding on through those "meh!" times can be tough, but you can do it! Best to you. xo
ReplyDeleteThank you. x
DeleteCongrats on 6 months! Me too today! And congrats to Edinburgh Housewife...Yay Us!! xx
ReplyDelete