Hi guys
Just a short post today.
Things are going well for me at the moment. Had a little wobble yesterday. The weather is getting nice and mild and feeling spring like. I was in town and walked past a pub which has an outdoor drinking area and people were sipping away on their beers. Mmmm I thought, that looks really nice. Ffs, I don't even really like beer. Then last night it struck me that the only people who were drinking were women who looked about 70 and totally haggard and wrecked!! I mean, how did I not see that at the time?! Plus it was about 1pm on a Thursday afternoon! Just goes to show that the romantic vision I have around booze is still there. Nice weather, sitting outside, getting pissed. Where does that come from in our society? What's that all about?
In other news my mum, dad and sister have all commented on how I've changed since becoming sober, I'm nicer, more patient, less snappy. Gulp. What was I like?! But I know I am. I just can't believe that I don't drink anymore. I really was my life. I just didn't know how much of it. I never, ever thought that I would be that person who didn't booze it up. My life has changed. So, so much.I really hope that my story can help even just one person if they're having a bad day. It's so worth it. No, scratch that, YOU'RE so worth it.
Lots of love and happy vibes my darlings.
xxxxxMtts
Dear MTTS,
ReplyDeleteHappy Spring to you!
It's technically winter here, but we've had warm weather...(above 30 degrees F)
Romancing the drink is the one I have the most problem with.
In fact, I had a "wobble" yesterday for a moment, because a good friend of mine is dating a lot and loves wine and this guy she is dating buys here all this fancy stuff.
She tells me, which usually doesn't bother me, but yesterday I found myself wishing a little bit for a glass.
But I dismissed the thought and had a super nice day!!
xo
Wendy
PS - I am WAY less reactive and crabby now that I am sober. It really is interesting the changes that we can't always see ourselves, but others can!
Mmmm a glass of wine. Yup, would be nice sometimes. But it's never a glass is it? I've had a really productive morning and no way would I have done that having had a bottle of vino last night. xx
DeleteIsn't it weird how the wine goggles really made everything seem romantic and happy, with dreamy music...and then you wrench them off and see reality! Gulp! xx
ReplyDeleteYes! and soft lens and I look fab and am throwing back my head with laughter. Sure. That's what it was like. Really.
DeleteLovely to hear from you and that you are doing well. And glad to hear that I'm not the only one still having wobbles. Sorry that sounds selfish but it helps to know I'm not alone! I've been thinking that with a year coming up I could maybe now just drink sometimes and not drink much. I have been having full blown conversations about it with myself. I thought it would all be so easy by now and then a situation arises and it's back. Like nice weather! Or easter. Or going on holiday. Etc etc! It would be so bloody easy but I know I'd quickly be back to the daily wrestle and I don't want that. On soberistas there's lots of chat of your sober toolbox so I'm filling mine up and using it. Glad to hear you are too. Most of my family and friends respect what I'm doing but some are looking forward to me getting back to normal.... I actually think I was more mellow when I was drinking. I'm a lot more intolerant now! So they'd better watch out cos I'm not giving in just yet xxx
ReplyDeleteI could have written that word for word. We went for a gorgeous sunny walk yesterday and I was thinking 'oh! a bottle of red when we get home would be SO nice!!' I'm trying just to accept that I will feel like that sometimes, and yes a bottle of red would be lovely but it's the next bottle, then the next, then the next and that 'daily wrestle'. Ugh. So horrible to go back to that. xxx
DeleteNo, you're so worth it. Yes, you are! Yes, you are! I have been sober almost five years, and here's what I've found, there are times I still miss drinking, there are times it makes me sad that I can't drink, but that doesn't mean I'm going to drink or that I am experiencing weakness. It just means that there are some good times and memories tied together with drinking and I'm fond of those memories, but that doesn't mean I am going to try to relive them.
ReplyDeleteBecause you and I know what those other women sitting around the table swilling beer at 1:00 pm don't know, we are better people without the booze. And we know our lives and the lives of those around us are better, and no matter how "good" that glass of whatever looks, it's not as good as what we have.
Excellent comment! I'm coming around to the thinking that I will miss wine for the rest of my life at certain times and be sad about it. But that feeling that way is just like wanting to spend a week in the sun, or have tomorrow off work or not have to go out tonight. Fleeting thought that passes....no need to indulge.
DeleteSpring is certainly in the air here this week, isn't it amazing! yes its proving a bit hard not to romanticise sitting in a beer garden at the moment but then how the hell would i pull that off in the evening with 3 kids hanging out of me!! I am pretty sure though a chain reaction would start if it was viewed as a once off and the thoughts indulged. Won't give in cause of a bit of sun : )
ReplyDeleteSo funny isn't it kats? Been SO gorgeous here in the South over the weekend and it is a trigger! God love us! But sure we'll keep at it, right?!
DeleteAh yeah defo. The sun drives us all a bit mad here : ) I have a lot of things going on this year. Think it will have to be one event at a time!!
DeleteTake their comments as compliments.
ReplyDeleteSometimes drinking just seems expected. But, in the end, it's not the booze that makes the experience. It's the basking in the sun or enjoying the patio.
You are doing great!