Ah lads
I've just spent the last weekend at a wedding and at the BBQ the next day too. Then we've a week in Lanzarote. And everyone is drinking and having fun. And I miss it. I really do. I missed having a few drinks and having the chats the day after the wedding, I'm going to miss having a few drinks before we fly (and while we fly and when we land....) and when we're there.
I really, really miss just being able to sit down with people for longer than an hour (that's as long as my patience lasts with fizzy water) and just chatting. I mean I know that the truth isn't that but I'm finding it really hard to socialise and do all those sort of normal things without alcohol.
A friend of mine is flying to Portugal today and I'm so jealous that right about now she's up at the airport with her husband having a few drinks.
I'm feeling sad and sort of despairing for the summer to be honest. How come, with nearly a year under my belt I'm feeling like this now???
xxxxMtts
As time goes by its easier to forget the shitty parts. Sometimes rose coloured glasses make us think we were gently enjoying alcohol as we socialized and had fun.
ReplyDeleteBut most of us weren't. We were drinking and ignoring those around us in favour of the booze. Days were hazy. Sleep was crappy. Physically we felt awful.
Perhaps those people enjoying one glass of wine are having fun. Because they stop at one and move on to life.
You are doing awesome. Refocus on things you really enjoy. Forget about things you don't.
Anne
Brillliant advice Anne, have been thinking about focussing on the things I enjoy since I wrote this post and it's the way to go! xx
DeleteDrinking is shi*e. Really it is. It probably has its place in your 20's and a bit of 30's but after that it is crap. My head was totally melted over Easter, like totally, that I almost feared for my mental health. So i said I would try drinking to try relax and just see what happened. In some ways it was no big deal. Few drinks here and there but I promise you it is exactly the same. Nothing changes. Of course I ultimately overdrank on a few occasions. Again its not such a big deal and my sister was delighted to see me 'let my hair down' but I hated it and I hated it the next day. It stops me being the person I want to be, the person I want to look back on when I am older and takes away most importantly the gift I give my children. Me. Healthy, happy and there for them. Your feelings are natural, summer is coming, holidays weddings etc. See what happens are May 3rd. X
ReplyDeleteYeh, I know in my mind that it would be the same as before, worse probably. But sometimes your heart tells you other false shit. I hope you're feeling better Kats?
DeleteOh yeah totally better! All good and even glad it happened in some ways as totally reinforced which life I prefer.SOBER!!! Doing the darkness to light 5k in 6 hrs, better get some sleep :)
DeleteI can't help thinking like this too sometimes. I wrote about it recently. Apparently there is a name for it, FOMO!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard sometimes. Most of the time I am okay, but there will be the odd occasion when I really feel like I am missing out. You just have to get past it. And you're allowed to say 'it's not fair' and stamp your foot! Hopefully it will get easier. Hugs. A x
Thanks angie, good to know others feel it too. x
DeleteDear MTTS,
ReplyDeleteI go through times and feelings of this, but then I look at the BIG picture of my drinking life. It had a few nice times, and lots of yucky times.
So I choose today, to stay sober!
It's not easy, but in the long run, it's worth it.
xo
Wendy
Yeh I know wendy, it is worth it.. xxx
DeleteI still have to play it forward and remember how much fun it really wasn't. I also just try not to think about it too much as it's easy to get sad about not drinking and forget all the really good things. I still have to sometimes pretend that I just love not drinking and am not very honest about why I stopped. As Wendy says I also choose not to drink today. Don't overthink things! Have a nice af beer and enjoy the sunshine. If it ever arrives. We had snow this week and it's 2 degrees today. Take care x
ReplyDeleteI have my list of how shit drinking made me feel when I was still drinking and refer to it sometimes. That really helps!x
ReplyDelete