No wine, so much time

Like my snappy rhyme? It's might sound awful but it's certainly true. I have so much fricking time these days. Time that isn't taken up with drinking, recovering from hangovers, thinking about drinking and that's just the start. I no longer fill my time with worry, guilt, anger, self pity, self hate, fear and regret. I'm not saying I don't still feel those things, I just know that alcohol isn't to blame for feeling them anymore. Nowadays when I feel something I know it's real. It's not fabricated by a drug that I poisoned my mind and body with. Something that for me made me a different person. Made me waste so much time.

There were hungover days that I just wrote off, 'I'll do it tomorrow or the next day when I don't feel so bad. I just can't face that now' I literally spent most Mondays in that state. There were days when I.Just.couldn't. Days I spend hours and hours flicking around on the internet, trying to beam myself somewhere else, anyway but with my kids and in the present moment.

Since I've given up wine my life that become so full. Full of stuff that I can't really believe I'm doing. I've started running again, doing yoga, setting up my own business. I've also started enjoying more the things I was doing before I stopped, minding kids, running a supper club, storytime at a local library. I'm even thinking of walking the dogs at a local shelter. See!! My life is cool! I'm jealous of me. I sound like one of those people I couldn't stand. 'Who does she think she is? What a nightmare, no-one needs to do all that stuff' But really want I meant was 'Hmm she obviously doesn't drink like me. Where is the time for her hangovers?'

Anyway my darlings. Thank you all SO SO much, you are my AA, my sober path, my inspiration and my mentors.

Lots of love. xxxxMtts.